Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize