but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
