Kiss
Puke
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
