Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
