Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
