Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
