So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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