The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
