dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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