After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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