Me too!
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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