the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
