Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
