Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
