My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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