I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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