Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
