dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
