one two three fourrrrnication!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
