so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
