worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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