Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
This show inspires me to have sex in space
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
