Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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