does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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