Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Randomize