Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
