Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Randomize
