sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
