i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
