So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
