I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
