My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize