therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
