Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
This is my gift to your gina
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
