wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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