This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
