Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
