their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
