Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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