I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
