Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
