Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
