hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
