pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
