So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
