Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
We named our party play list daddy issues
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
