so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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