this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
