tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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