She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
