East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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