wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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