shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
