I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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