would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
