she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'd cum for enchiladas.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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