i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
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