On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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