Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
