I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
