I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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