I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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