would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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