Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
