people are starting to question the shark bite story
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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