so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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