There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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