I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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