You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
