Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My feet surprised me
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
