He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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