I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Text me some of your sweat
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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