Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
