Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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