Kiss
Puke
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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